calendar.php

<?php
function random($dayseed,$indexseed)
{
  $n = $dayseed % 11117;
  for ($i=0; $i< 100 + $indexseed; $i++) { 
    $n = $n * $n;
    $n = $n % 11117;
  }
  return $n;
}

date_default_timezone_set("PRC");
$today = getdate();
$iday = $today['year'] * 10000 + $today['mon'] * 100 + $today['mday'];
$weeks = array("日","一","二","三","四","五","六");
$directions = array("北方","东北方","东方","东南方","南方","西南方","西方","西北方");
$activities =array( 
  array( 'name'=>"写单元测试", 'good'=>"写单元测试将减少出错",'bad'=>"写单元测试会降低你的开发效率"),
  array( 'name'=>"洗澡", 'good'=>"你几天没洗澡了？",'bad'=>"会把设计方面的灵感洗掉", 'weekend'=> true),
  array( 'name'=>"锻炼一下身体", 'good'=>"",'bad'=>"能量没消耗多少，吃得却更多", 'weekend'=> true),
  array( 'name'=>"抽烟", 'good'=>"抽烟有利于提神，增加思维敏捷",'bad'=>"除非你活够了，死得早点没关系", 'weekend'=> true),
  array( 'name'=>"白天上线", 'good'=>"今天白天上线是安全的",'bad'=>"可能导致灾难性后果"),
  array( 'name'=>"重构", 'good'=>"代码质量得到提高",'bad'=>"你很有可能会陷入泥潭"),
  array( 'name'=>"使用%t", 'good'=>"你看起来更有品位",'bad'=>"别人会觉得你在装逼"),
  array( 'name'=>"跳槽", 'good'=>"该放手时就放手",'bad'=>"鉴于当前的经济形势，你的下一份工作未必比现在强"),
  array( 'name'=>"招人", 'good'=>"你面前这位有成为牛人的潜质",'bad'=>"这人会写程序吗？"),
  array( 'name'=>"面试", 'good'=>"面试官今天心情很好",'bad'=>"面试官不爽，会拿你出气"),
  array( 'name'=>"提交辞职申请", 'good'=>"公司找到了一个比你更能干更便宜的家伙，巴不得你赶快滚蛋",'bad'=>"鉴于当前的经济形势，你的下一份工作未必比现在强"),
  array( 'name'=>"申请加薪", 'good'=>"老板今天心情很好",'bad'=>"公司正在考虑裁员"),
  array( 'name'=>"撸管", 'good'=>"避免缓冲区溢出",'bad'=>"强撸灰飞烟灭", 'weekend'=> true),
  array( 'name'=>"晚上加班", 'good'=>"晚上是程序员精神最好的时候",'bad'=>"", 'weekend'=> true),
  array( 'name'=>"在妹子面前吹牛", 'good'=>"改善你矮穷挫的形象",'bad'=>"会被识破", 'weekend'=> true),
  array( 'name'=>"浏览成人网站", 'good'=>"重拾对生活的信心",'bad'=>"你会心神不宁", 'weekend'=> true),
  array( 'name'=>"命名变量%v", 'good'=>"",'bad'=>""),
  array( 'name'=>"写超过%l行的方法", 'good'=>"你的代码组织的很好，长一点没关系",'bad'=>"你的代码将混乱不堪，你自己都看不懂"),
  array( 'name'=>"提交代码", 'good'=>"遇到冲突的几率是最低的",'bad'=>"你遇到的一大堆冲突会让你觉得自己是不是时间穿越了"),
  array( 'name'=>"代码复审", 'good'=>"发现重要问题的几率大大增加",'bad'=>"你什么问题都发现不了，白白浪费时间"),
  array( 'name'=>"开会", 'good'=>"写代码之余放松一下打个盹，有益健康",'bad'=>"小心被扣屎盆子背黑锅"),
  array( 'name'=>"打DOTA", 'good'=>"你将有如神助",'bad'=>"你会被虐的很惨", 'weekend'=> true),
  array( 'name'=>"晚上上线", 'good'=>"晚上是程序员精神最好的时候",'bad'=>"你白天已经筋疲力尽了"),
  array( 'name'=>"修复BUG", 'good'=>"你今天对BUG的嗅觉大大提高",'bad'=>"新产生的BUG将比修复的更多"),
  array( 'name'=>"设计评审", 'good'=>"设计评审会议将变成头脑风暴",'bad'=>"人人筋疲力尽，评审就这么过了"),
  array( 'name'=>"需求评审", 'good'=>"",'bad'=>""),
  array( 'name'=>"上微博", 'good'=>"今天发生的事不能错过",'bad'=>"今天的微博充满负能量", 'weekend'=> true),
  array( 'name'=>"上AB站", 'good'=>"还需要理由吗？",'bad'=>"满屏的兄贵我会说出来？", 'weekend'=> true)
);
$varNames = array("jieguo", "huodong", "pay", "expire", "zhangdan", "every", "free", "i1", "a", "virtual", "ad", "spider", "mima", "pass", "ui");
$tools = array("Eclipse写程序", "MSOffice写文档", "记事本写程序", "Windows8", "Linux", "MacOS", "IE", "Android设备", "iOS设备");
$drinks = array("水","茶","红茶","绿茶","咖啡","奶茶","可乐","牛奶","豆奶","果汁","果味汽水","苏打水","运动饮料","酸奶","酒");


function star($num)
{
  $result = "";
  $i = 0;
  while ($i<$num) {
    $result .="★";
    $i++;
  }
  while ($i<5) {
    $result .= "☆";
    $i++;
  }
  return $result;
}


function filter($activities)
{
  $result = array();
  if(isWeekend())
  {
    foreach ($activities as $value)
    {
      if ($value['weekend'])
        $result[] = $value;
    }
    return $result;
  }
  return $activities;

}

function isWeekend()
{
    $today = getdate();
  return $today['wday'] == 6 || $today['wday'] == 7 ;
}

function pickRandomActivity($activities,$size)
{
  $picked_events = pickRandom($activities,$size);
  for($i = 0;$i < sizeof($picked_events);$i++)
  {
    $picked_events[$i] = parse($picked_events[$i]);
  }
  return $picked_events;


}

function pickRandom($array,$size)
{
  global $iday;
  $reslut =array();
  foreach ($array as $value) {
    $reslut[] = $value;
  }
  for($i = 0; $i< sizeof($array) - $size;$i++)
  {
    $index = random($iday+2,$i) % sizeof($reslut);
    array_splice($reslut,$index,1);
  }
  return $reslut;

}

function parse($event)
{
  global $iday,$tools,$varNames;
  if(strpos($event['name'],"%v") !== false)
  {
    $index =random($iday,12)%sizeof($varNames);
    $event['name'] =str_replace("%v",$varNames[$index],$event['name']);
  }

  if(strpos($event['name'],"%t") !== false)
  {
    $index =random($iday,11)%sizeof($tools);
    $event['name'] =str_replace("%t",$tools[$index],$event['name']);
  }
  if(strpos($event['name'],"%l") !== false)
  {
    $event['name'] =str_replace("%l",(string)random($iday,12) % 247 +30,$event['name']);
  }
  return $event;
}


function showLucky()
{
  $result ="";
  global $activities,$iday,$drinks,$directions;
  $result .= "今天是".date("Y年m月d日 l",time());
  $_activities = filter($activities);
  $numGood = random($iday,98) % 3 + 2;
  $numBad = random($iday,87) % 3 + 2;
  $eventArr = pickRandomActivity($_activities,$numGood + $numBad);

  $result .= "\n\n宜:\n";
  for ($i=0; $i < $numGood; $i++)
  {
    $result .= $i.".「".$eventArr[$i]['name']."」".$eventArr[$i]['good']."\n";
  }

  $result .= "\n不宜:\n";
  for ($i=0; $i < $numBad; $i++)
  {
    $result .= $i.".「".$eventArr[$i+$numGood]['name']."」".$eventArr[$i+$numGood]['bad']."\n";
  }

  $result .= "\n座位朝向:\n";
  $result .= "面向「".$directions[random($iday,2) % sizeof($directions)]."」写程序，bug最少\n";
  $result .= "\n今日宜饮:\n";
  $todayDrink =pickRandom($drinks,2);
  $result .= $todayDrink[0]."、".$todayDrink[1];
  $result .= "\n\n女神亲近指数：\n";
  $result .= star(random($iday,6) % 5 +1);
  return $result;
}