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Story Arc: [tone] ↘ (quickly say Cooper's turmoil and Green Camp's sale) ↗ ↗ (build mythology) ↗ ↗ (begin search as epic quest) ↗ (locate the space) ↘ (arguing with maps driving on the mountain switchbacks) ↗ (find Hewitt Road) ↗ (find sports fields across a bend?) ¯ (encounter State Property Do Not Enter) ↘ understand this is green camp, drive up further, find we can't drive anymore, sun setting ↘ find Ringwood Correctional Housing ↘ Understand we can't do this project without discussing these new details ↘ Return to New York – Question which use of Green Camp is "better" – Find out NJ Playwrights program – Switch to Ringwood Manor ↘ Find Ringwood is closed for repairs,

Brief ideas

  • What if I never actually say what Green Camp is? To be cut off from full understand it. Plus an overemphasis on the name.
  • When discussing the predictability of Cooper conversations, maybe the progression of conversation can escalate up
  • After "I'm sorry you'll never get to experience that place", I think some photos of students there would be good
  • An unidentified "we"
  • After "starting with Ringwood" you can have a stack of images that examine every green space in Ringwood
  • The EZ-pass images we took could work for imaging travel
  • It would be cool to have the images of Green Camp come from different points in time. It's written that we approached it during the night, and then the image is during the day. I think that confusion of time works with the concept of the multi-direction slideshow: that it is independent of time or progression. -- Asked ian if he's take some pics :s
  • I like the idea of this being an ever expanding powerpoint, that kind of acts as a diary, a record of past thoughts and a platform for expanding into new tangents
  • Include duplicates of slides throughout the slideshow, so that orientation gets confused.
  • Adding .gifs

To do

  • Write more "predictable" conversations to stack on what you have
  • Draw map in illustrator
  • Change beginning to really mythologize it
  • Ringwood Manor closed image provides gateway to talking about Ringwood Manor windows

Transitioning into Ringwood Manor

[what are you trying to say here? the whole piece seems to talk about cycles of spaces and purposes. Green Camp served a purpose of education and retreat (private), and now only speculation can say if that mission is continued. it is a closed system, purposefully private. The Manor was a private retreat for Peter Cooper, but its sale made it a public retreat (a park). A park means it is available to more people, more people can take advantage of it. Arguably, it has progressed its mission. The museum serves to preserve, and we sought it out to connect with a space. I think I could probably skip the part about the park and just talk about the museum. Then, it becomes

  • Green Camp, which was sold and changed, and now has a questionable outcome (is it better than before? do the ends justify the means?)
  • Ringwood Manor, which was also sold but preserved as museum (also issues here, museum entry fees to be added 2014) closed indefinitely for renovations. Once again, barred access to the mythical past/golden age Another cycle of barring. Does that mean I have to start another whole cycle of building and breaking mythology?

Should there not be some huge moment that the mythology has been broken? A realization that perhaps it was just a myth?

Admitting defeat

There's a moment (I think it's actually the transition from Green RCH to Ringwood Manor) where I say "we weren't defeated" and then maybe 3 slides later you say "but sometimes you have to admit defeat".

I think there could probably be a better connection between these two. They seem sort of randomly juxtaposed.

Maybe instead of "And yet, sometimes you have no choice but to admit defeat" → "And yet, maybe we were defeated."

  • "And yet, at some point, you must admit defeat"
  • "And yet, at some point, you have no choice but to admit defeat"

Stylistic notes

  • I'm probably "I suppose", "Maybe", and "Perhaps" too much. They are part of speculations, yes, but I don't have to recycle the same language so much. -- 15 instances of "maybe" -- 1 instance of "I suppose" -- 1 instance of "perhaps"
  • On the topic of speculations, I enjoy it when the speculations are sized small. I can imagine a nice formal quality on the stack of speculations, where the font starts small (or normal) and just gets huge