Revised and left comments on "A walk in the sun." #11
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Just comments on things that were a bit unclear/vague and grammar mistakes. You have a distinct style of writing, and I think that gives a nice color to your narrator. :)
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First, thanks a lot for all the comments, Problem is, there are some errors (Travis complained, see above) and if I accepted it I would have to work through the comments to get to the real corrections. So I guess it's better if we use this to discuss and then I'll effectively pull from your repo. |
| @@ -72,50 +72,57 @@ OK, jungle. And you tell tall tales around the fire, right? | |||
| And you want to hear mine? | |||
| OK, Duke, I owe you. So here it goes. | |||
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| #####The transition between this first paragraph and the second one is a bit rough. The character talks to a person named Duke and then it suddenly goes to Gummy. While it's established that there are multiple people the narrator is talking to, it's a bit confusing as there is a jarring jump. | |||
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Maybe referring to Duke and Gummy in the line above would help?
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@aprilyou : if you change the #### to bold that should make the tests pass (tips here: https://guides.github.com/features/mastering-markdown/) |
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Tests actually complain about words it does not recognize, but the thing is
that I would have to edit that comments out anyway. That's why it's better
to make comments directly as issues. Easier to talk about them, too..
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Just comments on things that were a bit unclear/vague and grammar mistakes. You have a distinct style of writing, and I think that gives a nice color to your narrator. :)