Transcript of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VShmtsLhkQg.
Full runtime: approximately 36m09s
Other versions of this video exist with a slightly longer run-time, but I believe the difference is primarily intro and outro video banners from Video Arts, the company which originally produced it.
In the version that this transcript comes from, John Cleese begins speaking at approximately 00:04.
Comments in { } are editorial, intended to aid clarity of the written version.
Comments in ( ) are original, except for timestamps which are meant as a guide for those looking for a particular point in the video.
All headings are editorial, intended to aid in finding specific parts of the talk, as well as breaking up an otherwise lengthy block of text.
Bold/italics are intended to reflect tone of voice or when an especially important point was being made, but this is obviously somewhat subjective.
Footnotes were added basically as a reminder to myself of some interesting links I had found after watching this video.
I have tried to make this both readable and accurate. Sometimes what is spoken can be clear even if the words are out of order or omitted, but when reading it can be harder to understand.
Of course it should be obvious that if you haven't watched the video, you should do that first, and then use the transcript later if you need to refer to a specific part or if you want to re-watch a particular segment again, which is why I have tried to include time codes at fairly regular intervals.
I hope that you will find this helpful.