WIP pool changes

[abonander]

• Use a separate waiting queue for new connections.
• Pool inheritance (used for testing) only steals connect permits, not acquire permits.
• Spawn connection attempts as their own task so they may complete even if the acquire() call is cancelled.
• Race opening a new connection with acquiring one from the idle queue.
• acquire() should now be completely cancel-safe.
• Separate timeout for connecting.
• New PoolConnector trait superceding both before_connect (requested but not yet implemented) and after_connect callbacks.
  • Implemented for closures returning Future, albeit with a 'static requirement for the returned Future (instead of BoxFuture).
  • May be updated to use async closures in a future release (hopefully backwards compatible but will require an MSRV bump): https://blog.rust-lang.org/inside-rust/2024/08/09/async-closures-call-for-testing.html
  • Can be used to support high availability, or implement custom backoff or connection throttling schemes (e.g. token bucket).
• Use usize for all connection counts to get rid of weird inconsistencies.

Breaking Changes

• Pool::set_connect_options() and get_connect_options() have been removed. Instead, implement the new PoolConnector trait (or use a closure) using something like Arc<RwLock<impl ConnectOptions>>.
• PoolOptions::after_connect() has been removed. Instead, implement PoolConnector (or use a closure), open a connection and then apply any operations necessary.
• PoolOptions::min_connections(), PoolOptions::max_connections() and Pool::size() now use usize instead of u32.

Fixes #3513
Fixes #3315
Fixes #3132
Fixes #3117
Fixes #2848

[abonander]

Just noticed I actually use RwLock in the example.

[svix-jplatte]

When playing around with this PR locally (to see if it fixes an acquire timeout issue, which it unfortunately doesn't), I found that this caused a compile error. I think it should be

Suggested change

	missing_rt((duration, f))
	missing_rt((deadline, f))

[abonander]

@jplatte if you have a solid repro for acquire timeouts, I'd love to add it as a test here.